Thoughts

I should be packing, cleaning, sleeping, running, reading, taking care of last minute details, or setting up the new apartment. Instead I thought I would take a moment to document the feelings I am feeling right now.

I only have:

One day left until my wonderful Pittsburgh friends shower me. One day left to sit at the front desk at the salon, watching the clock sloooooowly pass the time. One day left of waiting...

Two days left until I am done with work for the next week and a half. Two days left until I have to clean and move the rest of my stuff out of my place. Two days left to remember all that I need to take for Utah and Cancun. Two days left to find ways to squeeze everything into my suitcase. Two days left of waiting...

Three days left until I get to get my nails and pedicure done. Three days until we board our plane to Utah. Three days left until I get to see family! Three days left of waiting...

Four days left until I get to see many of my Camano Island friends. Four days left until I get to see my wonderful Utah friends. Four days left until I get to see my former roommates and other important individuals come in from California, Las Vegas, Texas, Idaho, South Carolina, New Hampshire, and Seattle. Four days left until we get our marriage license. Four days left of waiting...

Five days left till my face hurts from smiling so much. Five days left until I wear the most expensive item of clothing I have ever had and will ever have. Five days left until I become a bride. Five days left of being a fiance. Five days left until I become a wife. Five days until I am no longer Rachel DeFreese, but Rachel Quigley instead. Five days left until I get to be sealed to the man that makes my heart skip beats when he holds my hand.

Five days until the day I have waited 26 years and nearly 8 months for.

Five days left of waiting...

To November 21, 2009:
I never thought this would happen. Thank you for finally coming!

11 days to go.....

....and it seems like forever!

What happens 11 days before you get married? Well, for me a few things:

Satan is trying to befriend me-- his friendship is unwanted, but he seems to appear everywhere. He is appearing when I have to say 'good night'. He is appearing when Sean says something sweet and I turn it, in my head, into something completely different. He is appearing when I don't want to serve anyone, but do things for myself. He is appearing in the middle of the night by placing doubts in my head, that are never there when I wake up. He appeared in my attitude when I got frustrated with our wedding coordinator and left her an unpleasant message. He is helping me focus on negative things. And lastly, he is trying to displace the faith in my heart with fear.

I have words for you Satan, and they go something like this:
"The weather is nice here in Pittsburgh. I know it is hot where you are. I am not trading what I have, or am going to have, with your hot and miserable atmosphere."

Addresses please!

If you are reading this blog, or just an occasional onlooker and would like a wedding invitation, please leave your address in a comment here, or send it to racheldefreese@gmail.com. I would love to send you one!

As of today, there is only one more month left. YAY!

then there were more...

Libby did an AMAZING job with our engagements! We both enjoyed the photo shoot. Thanks Libby!












When the train came, we decided not to move. I ended up loving some of these shots, even though they would never be sent out.








I like this mug shot expression that we both had

Talented

That is the word that describes the photographer that took our engagement photos. I was very pleased with the results! More to come.

Damp cheeks

There were a few touching moments from my trip to Utah that I have to write about.

Touching moment #1:
After I crossed the finish line at the race, I did something that I haven't done before and want to continue doing. I watched as the racers after me crossed. I was surprised at how much it moved me. I watched as couples in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and some 70s crossed hand in hand. I watched as fathers and daughters, and mothers and sons crossed hand in hand. I watched as sisters, friends and complete strangers crossed hand in hand.

I saw racers limping, bleeding from their chafed nipples, a runner with a bloody nose, and racers that were sopping wet with sweat. I watched as racers, who pushed so hard, passed out after they crossed the finish line, threw-up as their bodies came to a stop, went into shock and had to be taken to first aid and carried away in an ambulance. I saw it all.

It was not just what I saw, but how I felt that moved me. I felt so proud of each racer that accomplished the great goal that they set. I felt so proud of each racer that beat their last race time. I felt so proud of the ones that looked so much in pain, but just kept going. I felt it all.

After seeing and feeling what I did, I had damp cheeks.

Touching moment #2
This morning, as I was dropped off at the Salt Lake airport I saw several young men and women in missionary attire. I watched as they documented each moment in the airport by camera. I watched the excitement on their faces as they were getting ready to embark on this wonderful and very trying time in each of their lives. I watched emotions go through cycles as they called home to say good-bye- smiles, then tears, then smiles again. I watched and realized that even though I am not going on a mission and haven't been on a mission, I still am a missionary and need to do my part to share what I love so much and live for.

My cheeks didn't get damp, but I had a difficult time swallowing with such a lump in my throat.

Touching moment #3
This moment made my cheeks the most damp. I watched this morning as men dressed in their army greens said good-bye to their families and friends. I watched as they were strong, but then had moments of emotion flood through them. I watched their loved ones wipe their damp cheeks. I had to look away when I saw a young wife say good-bye to her husband. I watched as her tears shook her body and breathing became hard. People probably watched me as I wiped my face.

I have been grateful for the men and women that serve and have served our country. I am selfish at times and was truly humbled by what each of these citizens are doing for me personally. They are sacrificing their time with families, friends, education, and any other joys that they experience in their daily lives. For that, I am grateful. I am grateful for their bravery. I am grateful for their pride. I am grateful for their strength. I am the most grateful for what they represent.

To the man that hugged his sobbing wife, I say thank you. To the man that hugged his three kids and strong wife, I say thank you. To the woman who hugged each of her siblings and parents, I say thank you.

Thank you for my damp cheeks and new-found appreciation for my body, religion and freedom.

Posting Machine!

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