|My dear friend Natalie took pictures of me yesterday. She's pretty awesome! She shot them in the cemetery next to our house. I guess living next to the cemetery has its perks.|
As this pregnancy is coming to an end I feel the need to write down my thoughts, experiences, emotions, and whatever is swirling around in my pregnant brain.
I am now 35 weeks along. I am asked daily how I am feeling. Here's how I am feeling:
~on the verge of tears.
~like swearing, but then feeling guilty for even thinking about swearing, which brings me to tears.
~like an a mood swinging, ankle swelling, obsessive cleaning, baby girl clothes buying, chocolate eating, exhausted mother.
~irritated by some status updates on facebook, then I tell Sean what I would really like to comment on some of the statuses, then I get irritated about even getting on facebook and subjecting myself to the torment.
~hopeful that the stretch marks DON'T come.
~realistic that the stretch marks probably will come.
~anxious after getting all the stuff ready for this little lady all the while thinking that it could be a boy (which I would be happy about).
~like a waddling duck.
~like staying at home and enjoying every little moment with our family of three.
~hopeful that Charlie still feels special after welcoming his little sister.
Most of all I am feeling excited to see this little one!
This pregnancy has FLOWN by! I can't believe that we are five weeks(ish) away from the arrival. We just spent Saturday stocking up on all of the baby essentials that we will need. With it being the busiest time of year, the big day will be here before we know it. We still have a Thanksgiving party at work, Thanksgiving week up at my parents' place, an anniversary getaway to British Columbia, weekly doctors appointments, book club, hair appointments, church responsibilities, a Christmas party for the church as well as for the employees at Sean's office and a patient party, a baby shower, birthdays, and several other little odds and ends.
Eating has been a struggle for me. She is up pretty far and so there is no room for food in my stomach. If I eat too much I have terrible acid reflux all night long. I love orange juice, applesauce, apple slices, chocolate, milk, cereal, any breakfast food, red meats, and french fries. I force myself to put spinach in smoothies, cauliflower in mashed potatoes, and I load our soups with vegetables. I hate vegetables while pregnant.
I have gained 15 pounds so far, but I know I'll put a good ten on in the next few weeks. With Charlie it was the same way.
I love the name we have picked out, but doubt it at the same time. We found it while strolling through the old cemetery next door to us. There was no doubting with Charlie. I knew he was a Charles. I have LOVED his name for years, even though people always questioned me while pregnant.
I know that there will be a difficult and wonderful transition ahead. I am not good with transitions.
I am hopeful that Charlie will adjust okay. We are getting him a baby doll to help him adjust and learn to be soft and nice to the baby. I have brought him around a friend's baby and he is sweet and soft with her. He knows there is a baby in mommy's tummy and will come up to me and hug my tummy and say 'hi baby' and follow that with lots of kisses on my tummy. It's pretty cute. He also requests that we read Mercer Meyer's book 'New Baby' over and over. The last line in the book is 'they think I am so lucky.' Charlie will say 'so lucky' over and over. Makes me melt every time.
We are excited and full of love for this new little spirit to enter our home. She is going to have such a wonderful father. Sean is such a kid fan. He would love to have a house full of ten little ones. I have to put the brakes on. Each child that comes into our home gets to feel lots of love from their dad. I couldn't do this without him. He is truly wonderful and completely focused on his family.
Ready or not.....