Monday, November 17, 2008

Thank you?

I was at work on Saturday, and was approached by one of my co-workers. This is how our conversation went....

HER: Rachel, how old are you?
ME: 25
HER: You're not dating anyone right now, right?
ME: Nope (Oh no, what's she going to ask me now?)
HER: Are you wanting to commit to someone?
ME: (oh great, another 17 year old that thinks I have dating issues) Sure, if the right situation came along, but I don't usually seek dating situations out. They usually just happen when the time is right.
HER: I have a friend I want to set you up with. He is ready to get married and is looking for a serious relationship right now.
ME: What's he like? (besides seemingly desperate)
HER: He has had lots of girlfriends, but they are all getting married, and he is really ready to settle down.
ME: (That really didn't describe him too well) What's his personality like? Is he going to school? Working? What does he look like?
HER: Well, I am not going to lie, he's not very attractive.
ME: (SOLD!) Well, I am usually up for set-ups or whatever, but you aren't really selling him too well.
HER: I'll try to get a picture for you.

Are you kidding me? I'll keep you in mind when I get desperate and lonely, but for the time being, I am doing great, thanks!

Monday, November 10, 2008

letters to my monday nemeses

Warning: Negative post ahead, proceed with caution.

Dear smirky, all-knowing math professor,
I watched you challenge us today with problem after problem. I saw that smirk across your face as you made things ALOT more complicated. Did you see me roll my eyes at you? I already feel behind with all the homework you loaded up on me today, so thank you.

I'd like to give you a gift. It's a challenge from me to you. I'd like to set a middle-aged, long head of hair in front of you and see you change the level 7, 1/2 grey 1/2 natural color, to a beautiful golden blonde with no roots and no streaking. The shape of the hair needs to change from a straight, thick, mid-back length to a bob that sits above the shoulders but not up to the chin. To hide the wrinkles along the forehead, she needs bangs--not to heavy, just the right amount--not to short, she doesn't want to look like a kindergartner that just found mom's scissors. She has thick hair, so she will need the ends to be texturized, and to make her look younger, she would like a slight a-line. Oh, I forgot to tell you something. The underlying pigment in her hair is red, so you will have to mix a little bit of green in the formula to counteract the red. Make sure you don't add too much green though, cause the grey strands will look too ashy.

Good luck! If you need my help, my office hours are from 8-8:30am Saturdays.
~Your frustrated blonde student--the one that looked like she just rolled out of bed without a shower to come to class today

Dear Albert Einstein and mathematicians,
I have a bone to pick with you. The alphabet used to be so simple, until it crossed paths with you. Now instead of just being a, b, c, d, e, f.... it's a, b, c, d, e, e, E=mc squared, and ln e. Who said you could mess with the alphabet like that?
~Blonde R-a-c-h-e e E=mc squared ln e-l

Dear nutritionists,
Why do I need to drink 8 glasses of water throughout the day? Since that is something we need to do, can there be more bathrooms?
~blonde with a small bladder

Dear bathroom,
Where are you? I am doing an embarrassing bathroom dance while trying to find you. Everyone in the hall is staring at me. My cheeks are now deep red. Please appear, please?
~dancing blonde

Dear Costco,
I love your pretzel crisps! I crave them! Are you really out of all the bags?
~hungry blonde girl

Dear Skin,
I think you are confused. I am not a teenager anymore. Please stop sending me red, bumpy surprises.
~Make-up coated blonde

Dear Monday,
Can it please be Tuesday?

~tired, cold, grouchy, stressed, hungry, small-bladdered, blonde Rachel
P.S. It's only 2 pm.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

spare time?

I recently was asked what I liked to do in my spare time. The only answers I could come up with were: do homework in the math lab, run, spend time in the library studying math, sleep, and then I drew a blank. What's wrong with me? I used to have so many hobbies I couldn't keep up with. Now I have so many math equations I can't keep up with. I realized that I need to find balance in my life, but it's going to have to wait for Christmas break.

This is the fun I've been may get jealous.

Shipping Stereos An electronics discount chain has a sale on a certain brand of stereo. The chain has stores in Santa Monica and El Toro and warehouses in Long Beach and Pasadena. To satisfy rush orders, 15 sets must be shipped from the warehouses to the Santa Monica store, and 19 must be shipped to the El Toro store. The cost of shipping a set is $5 from Long Beach to Santa Monica, $6 from Long Beach to El Toro, $4 from Pasadena to Santa Monica, and $5.50 from Pasadena to El Toro. If the Long Beach has 24 sets and the Pasadena warehouse hs 18 sets in stock, how many sets should be shipped from each warehouse to each store to fill the orders at a minimum shipping cost?

Thankfully this is the last math class I will EVER have to take.......yuck!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

My dad's better than your dad

My grandma decided to move to Utah last month. The move down ended up being lots of fun for us girls. Dad, along with Uncle Terry, accompanied grandma on the move. All growing up there never was a dull moment around our household, and dad coming down to Utah proved that dull moments don't follow him. We were constantly entertained. This visit made me realize how nervous I am to bring a guy around my family (especially the Megan-Dad combo). The two of them would sit and discuss things openly that I am sure are not discussed around anyone else's dinner tables (use your imagination, and I am sure you will hit the nail on the head).

I hate not knowing how to fix my car, and it was needing new brakes....perfect timing, right when dad was coming! Since he knows how to fix anything on a car, I batted my eyes and asked if he could change my brake pads. Of course he couldn't turn his favorite daughter down. I wanted to watch so that I could do it next time. I was perched on a bucket right behind, and probably irritatingly close, watching my dad in his coveralls get splattered with brake juice. Even though it was dirty, it looked pretty simple-or so I thought. Then we got to the stubborn pistons...leave it to me to have a stubborn vehicle. After a trip to Checkers to buy more tools, a couple choice words dropping, and an extremely quiet hour of battling the piston, my dad looked at me with brake juice down his face and told me it was impossible and that it needed to be taken in. NOOOOOOO!!!! I didn't want to pay a ridiculous amount to have something done that my dad was capable of doing. Obviously, being a former primary student I prayed. I think I may have sent five or so prayers out during that painfully frustrating hour. Right after the last prayer, I heard a click. My dad turned to face us girls with a smirk on his face. He looked back and forth from Megan to me, and what came out of his mouth shocked me and made me laugh hysterically--"alright you two, who's been praying? Come on, someone has. This dang piston didn't just turn on it's own!" We were laughing so hard, inducing hiccups. My hiccups came and went for the remainder of the night. I think it was so funny to us because my mother is often guilty of reverting back to her primary ways when dad says something can't be done. We, with the help of someone else, prove him wrong quite often. My brakes were fixed! Thanks dad!

I also have to share a story that I heard about while he was down. When Megan was getting ready to go to a formal dance in high school, my dad realized that he was tired of the expensive, scandalous formal dresses. Wanting to prove that he could find an affordable, modest dress, he gets on ebay and started bidding on a formal, seemingly modest, dress. He was excited to win the bidding while only spending $15. The dress came, and feeling proud that he was going to prove my mom and sister wrong, he had Megan try it on. Mom and Megan were laughing pretty hard, cause dad was about to be humbled. The dress was cut so high, her booty practically hung out. With hands thrown in the air, he realized he would not win the formal dress battle.

Oh, and he can also dance, strike a pose for the camera, fish, shoot, tell us girls when we need to put new material on our blogs, feed the grandsons pickles, and he even lets us all win at the games we play around the table-even though he pretends to be trying his hardest to win, etc....... He either does it all or keeps a straight face while pretending he knows what he's doing.

I am pretty sure this means that my dad is better than your dad!