Sunday, March 14, 2010

Rachel's Definition of MARRIAGE



I had to write down all that I have learned from being married. I don't think I knew what marriage meant until I hopped in. I am looking forward to defining marriage every ten years. I bet I will laugh at this definition, especially the M. Sean will soon take the lead--phew!

Money. I make a majority of the money. I now feel responsible and instead of feeding my shopping habits, I am feeding an always-hungry husband. The grocery store sees me a whole lot more. The mall sees me a WHOLE lot less. I have also lost some(definitely not all) of the desire to spend money on myself. I would much rather purchase something that we can both enjoy. AWWW, she grew up!

A
djustments. There have been MANY. My life has done several 180s in the past year, and I can now say that I have adjusted to the Pittsburgh personalities, diversity, potholes (they are terrible!!!), weather, new career, new friends, new ward, new home, and the fact that everything is N-E-W. Adjustments that have come in marriage have been countless. To name a few-- spending habits, communication, sleeping habits, eating habits, bathroom habits, school habits, work habits, cleaning habits, how we like to spend our free time, and how we like the toilet seat to be.

Rachel. I think less of Rachel, alone, independent, I, me, my, and mine. Instead I think more of us, ours, yours, you, we, together, dependent, and Sean.

Reality. I guess I watched too many chick flicks prior to getting married. Although Sean is a wonderful husband, he does not smell, look, act, or dress like a lead in a chick flick. Lets be honest, I don't smell, look, act or dress like the chick in chick flicks, but I always thought that your hair would always be perfectly in place and you'd smell like a fantastic perfume, even after a long run in the heat. The things out of both of our mouths sometimes should be sucked back in and the residue they left, wiped away. Being married doesn't mean you will naturally wake up and have the best day. The best day comes by creating it. You choose your attitude, and try to adjust to your spouse's. (My job has put me in bad moods, and I forget to leave my bad mood at work sometimes, and I have had to realize that I am the one that needs to keep a positive attitude-- Sean is really even tempered, whereas I am learning I am not.)

Intimate. Sharing everything. Hiding nothing-- well, maybe I hide a few dollars here and there so that I can spend every now and then.

Amazed. I had a lot of trust issues prior to marriage. I have always been affected by watching others. As I have seen several families crumble, I thought that it was impossible to have a marriage that was successful, loving, and trustworthy. I have found, in my temple marriage to Sean, that I am amazed every day. I am amazed by the unconditional love that comes from him to me, his family, the gospel, his young men, and every living being/thing out in this world. I am amazed by his commitment to the gospel through honoring his priesthood and temple covenants. I am amazed that my love for him never goes away, not even for a second. I am amazed at his endless talents. I am amazed at how hard-working he is and how much time he spends studying. I am amazed that I found someone I can't imagine living without.

Great hair! I hope our kids get his!

E
ternal. Eternity to me is a circle. A circle is never ending and goes round and round. I wouldn't want to spend the rest of eternity with anyone but Sean. I am excited to create an eternal family with him. (no, we are not pregnant)

Sappy? Yes. But, in all honesty, I think this captures the bad, ugly, wonderful and eternal feelings and lessons learned thus far.

12 comments:

S.Ann said...

I always knew that you'd make a great wife for someone Rachel and I'm happy that someone is Sean.

Becca said...

Rachel I just wanted to tell you how much I always enjoy your posts. You're so thoughtful, and I can usually identify with the feelings you express. Good to catch up with you online!

Paige said...

great post. I look forward to more of your "things learned" since it is a good reminder for me.
The nice thing is that though I have had a couple of times in our marriage when I was SO MAD at my husband, I still knew that I loved him intensely and wanted to be with him. He is what matters to me.

Sara said...

You are so creative! I love reading your posts. Sounds like you guys are doing great!

Will said...

I think the first photo says it all. "I love you and love showing it, even if it makes me look and act a little dumb." Or at least that's how things are with Kristin and me sometimes . . .

Lanie Ree said...

Aw, you've learned so much more than I have!

Can Can said...

Keep 'em coming, Rach. I'm taking notes.

Noelley's Life said...

Great thoughts! I loved all of it. I hope you are good!

Lisa and Rustin said...

You two are adorable!!
I am happy you are happy!!

James and Megan said...

I hope your birthday was so great!! Koby knows your face. He is just having a hard time saying Rachel. I think he remembers when you used to live with us:)

Scooter said...

Do you mean that you still like this Quigley Guy ? ha ha, we love you guys... I think one of your cousins will soon be following your
path...

Matt Neal said...

You know what leads in chic flics smell like? Wow! How'd you pull that off?