Thoughts

I should be packing, cleaning, sleeping, running, reading, taking care of last minute details, or setting up the new apartment. Instead I thought I would take a moment to document the feelings I am feeling right now.

I only have:

One day left until my wonderful Pittsburgh friends shower me. One day left to sit at the front desk at the salon, watching the clock sloooooowly pass the time. One day left of waiting...

Two days left until I am done with work for the next week and a half. Two days left until I have to clean and move the rest of my stuff out of my place. Two days left to remember all that I need to take for Utah and Cancun. Two days left to find ways to squeeze everything into my suitcase. Two days left of waiting...

Three days left until I get to get my nails and pedicure done. Three days until we board our plane to Utah. Three days left until I get to see family! Three days left of waiting...

Four days left until I get to see many of my Camano Island friends. Four days left until I get to see my wonderful Utah friends. Four days left until I get to see my former roommates and other important individuals come in from California, Las Vegas, Texas, Idaho, South Carolina, New Hampshire, and Seattle. Four days left until we get our marriage license. Four days left of waiting...

Five days left till my face hurts from smiling so much. Five days left until I wear the most expensive item of clothing I have ever had and will ever have. Five days left until I become a bride. Five days left of being a fiance. Five days left until I become a wife. Five days until I am no longer Rachel DeFreese, but Rachel Quigley instead. Five days left until I get to be sealed to the man that makes my heart skip beats when he holds my hand.

Five days until the day I have waited 26 years and nearly 8 months for.

Five days left of waiting...

To November 21, 2009:
I never thought this would happen. Thank you for finally coming!

11 days to go.....

....and it seems like forever!

What happens 11 days before you get married? Well, for me a few things:

Satan is trying to befriend me-- his friendship is unwanted, but he seems to appear everywhere. He is appearing when I have to say 'good night'. He is appearing when Sean says something sweet and I turn it, in my head, into something completely different. He is appearing when I don't want to serve anyone, but do things for myself. He is appearing in the middle of the night by placing doubts in my head, that are never there when I wake up. He appeared in my attitude when I got frustrated with our wedding coordinator and left her an unpleasant message. He is helping me focus on negative things. And lastly, he is trying to displace the faith in my heart with fear.

I have words for you Satan, and they go something like this:
"The weather is nice here in Pittsburgh. I know it is hot where you are. I am not trading what I have, or am going to have, with your hot and miserable atmosphere."