Over the past 6 months what I already knew has been confirmed--I hate flying! I don't like being stuck with a three hour layover in the middle of the day or night. I don't like that they stopped serving lunch on long flights and that you have to pay for them now. I don't like that I always seem to be the lucky one to get patted down and my bags searched. I don't like that my watch got stolen in the security line while I was getting a pat-down. I don't like the stomach gas that I always get from the ascending and descending. Most importantly, I don't like the business men I get stuck sitting by that talk about their wives and children all the while putting their hands on my legs and complimenting me, and double-checking with me that I had someone picking me up at the airport--vomit! I know that not all traveling business men are shady, but I seem to be the lucky one that gets to sit next to the ones that are.
Anyways, I was caught off guard with the giggles on my last flight, and this is why. The flight attendant (male) threw his own spin on the whole safety presentation that they do at the beginning of every single flight. I had to write down what he was saying cause I thought it was so funny. Today, while cleaning my room, I ran across the paper and laughed again.
"This flight is a non-smoking, non-crying and non-whining flight"
"We are expecting a smooth flight, if we weren't, we would've called in sick"
"The flight attendants will come through the cabin to make sure your tray tables are locked, luggage is properly stowed, seat backs are up and that your shoes and socks match your outfits."
"Sit back and relax, or lean forward and be tense"
"We are going to dim the lights to enhance the attractiveness of your flight attendants"
Absolutely KILLED me!