Sunday, September 19, 2010
Peeking into my life at 16 weeks
This poor baby is probably getting tired of hearing the same conversation day in and day out. If I am tired of it, I am sure the little life inside of me is rolling his/her eyes-- a trait from me, unfortunately. I work at a very busy salon, with 31 other stylists. Throughout the day they call me over to show their clients my growing stomach. Sometimes I throw in a little laugh, I usually say thank you, and I always turn beet red from the attention. Here is what I hear on a daily basis...
Here are the nice things that I like to hear:
"Oh wow, I didn't realize you were pregnant until you turned."
"Look at that growing belly, you make such a cute pregnant lady."
"You make me want to be pregnant again."
"You and Sean are going to have cute little kids."
And here are the things that I hear too too often. These are the things that turn my face bright red, cause my blood pressure to soar, make my knees weak, and sometimes cause me to practice self-control and not self-defense. I occasionally want to send a punch to the mouths that let some of these comments escape from their minds out their mouths.
Said from my client, a nurse, who is 50 and a mother of three:
Nurse: "Congratulations! How many kids do you have?"
Me: "This is our first"
Nurse: "Really? How far along are you?"
Me: "Just hit 16 weeks yesterday."
Nurse: "You're kidding me! You look like you are at least 5 1/2 months along!"
Me (turning red): "Thank you"
Nurse: "You are pretty big, have you had a sonogram? Have they checked for multiples? Are there multiples in your family?
Me: "Nope, yep, yep"
Nurse: "Well if you don't have multiples, I would look into gestational diabetes, (and some other pregnancy-related complications, but I shut her out at this point). The symptoms are blah blah blah blah blah (more shutting her out)
Me: "How was your daughter's wedding?"
The man that sat in my chair five minutes after the previous conversation:
Man: "I couldn't help but notice that you are expecting- Congratulations"
Me: "Thank you"
Man: "You must be like 5-6 months along, huh?"
Me: "Actually, I just hit 16 weeks."
Man: "You're only 3 1/2 months along????!!!!"
Me (please tell me this day will end soon): "Yep. Looking pretty ripe, huh?"
Man: "Well, I am no expert in the area of pregnant women, but my wife is expecting our first, and she still has a flat stomach."
Man: "I am a physician, however, and I have seen many pregnant women. If I were you, I would have them thoroughly scan to make sure there aren't two or three in there."
Me (trying to catch my breath at the thought of him suggesting that I am large enough for three): "Thank you for your advice, we'll check into it."
Man: "You might want to read about gestational diabetes and excessive amniotic fluid."
Me: "Thank you, that'll give me something to do tonight."
Me: "Any fun plans for the weekend?"
To sum up the last shocking conversation that I had this week. I went to the mall to try to find some new work pants. I had an armful when I went into the dressing room. The dressing room attendant noticed my stomach and asked the usual questions. When she found out how far along I was, and that it was my first, her jaw dropped-- seriously. Secretly my eyes rolled-- when she wasn't looking. She lifted up her shirt and told me that she was 5 months along with her third. Her stomach was where mine was at about 11 weeks. We went through the whole routine about multiples and pregnancy complications. Yada yada yada.
I am learning that people are just trying to be helpful. I am also learning that I need to just let it roll off of my back, even when you hear these things every day ALL day. I asked for a little humility this week in my prayers, and I think that I have been humbled through the conversations that I have with people day in and day out. I am lucky to have a loving, supportive, trustworthy, hard-working, spiritual husband to help me raise our kids with. I am lucky to have wonderful, supportive, loving, hard-working, trustworthy, and spiritual parents (on both our sides), that have taught us to be parents by their examples.
As the weeks move along, I am realizing more of the changes that will take place. I am nervous to become a parent, and only hope to be as patient as Sean and both of our parents are and were. Maybe that's why I get to wade through all these conversations-- I think (despite my eye rolling) I will find ways to patiently wait for the subject to change in my next uncomfortable conversation.